Damn, Jacob! I'm loving this poem. It's so romantic and sweet, AND almost made me cry. I'm totally faving this one.

Keep it up. You'll start getting neck-and-neck with Karl if your poetry is like this.

--
Edik: What does your shirt say?
Me: ...Kent State University?
Edik: Okay, good. I was just making sure it didn't say I love boys!

Good job dude, you're getting better.

--
Wait....Can I be a Superhero and a Supervillain?

Congrats man, this is a truly awesome poem. I'll bet shelby cried when she read it. I like the touch with the capital letters on the last line, i always love last line stuff. XD.

So, extensive critique, is it? Not much there to critique, i agree with liv, if not for meter you'd be right up there with me. XD

And as for Meter:
stanza 2, line one "whisper"
stanza 2, line four, consider adding another word?
stanza 3, line one, consider adding "that"
stanza 3, line four, XD. good job on that one.
stanza 4, line three, completion and overflowing, too many beats
stanza 4, line four, consider switching things and possibly (possibilities) around in that sentence
stanza 5, line two, too many beats

I based all meter off of the PERFECT rhythm you established in stanza 1.

But alot of times meter isn't important at all, man. This is a great poem, no matter what anyone says, because it was written from the heart, and written well. As long as shelby knows you love her, this poem was done to perfection.

Bravo.

--
All heil! All heil! All heil the serpents gift!
All heil, Love fails, and Hope lies in eclipse

Thankee. as for the meter.... what the fuck was i thinking... lol... nah... but, ill consider the revisions

--
*copies karls sig* except with rhonie ^_^

XD
[link] i beg it of you... go..
^^^

really!! you almost cried!!
cool!!
you really think its good though?, thankee. its how i feel

--
*copies karls sig* except with rhonie ^_^

XD
[link] i beg it of you... go..
^^^